Home > Rant > Middle Eastern is Now White

Middle Eastern is Now White


Dear Middle Eastern People,

I noticed the recent change on college applications indicating the Federal Government of the United States of America has welcomed you into the white category.  This has some beneficial timing for the greater body of government because it will allow for the retroactive re-writing of the most recent Iraq War, not as a colonial invasion based on misinformation, but rather as an inter-familial kerfuffle.  These things happen; and I promise you, white families just don’t get along well.  I was surprised at the college application change and more surprised that no one has seen fit to comment on the change itself.  I’m not too sure if you were consulted or not on your opinion regarding the matter.  In the interest in being hospitable, I want to welcome you to being white and give some friendly advice.

PRO-TIP #1:  Avoid the faux pas of any involvement with the KKK, Neo-Nazis or any other white supremacy group.  The majority of us know they are an unfortunate contemporary descendant of some of the darkest chapters in history.  We all just need to be patient and wait for the last of them to die out.

PRO-TIP #2:  Talk to some Jews!  The Jewish people have had long and complex history of inclusion / exclusion with white America / Europe and will be valuable mentors capable of providing experienced insight.  They will be of particular help in sharing their experiences in schools and college environments.

PRO-TIP#3:  Ditch any beards and hijabs and get really interested in cardigan sweaters.  The majority of white America goes in for mainstreaming and cardigan sweaters big time.  This basic change will put other whites at ease instantly.


The real lesson here is that “race” is not real; it is an artificial concept, a construct, a convenience, a contrived method of categorization.  Race can mean whatever people want it to mean and has been variable in meaning throughout America’s history.  Ethnicity as real: that people come from different regional, cultural and heredity origins is a scientific truth.  Race is a construct like “Republican” or “Democrat”; “Conservative” or “Liberal”; any larger label for simple identification like these examples which is ultimately an imaginary, artificial creation.

Since “race” is made-up and imaginary, it is not real information, and supplying an answer regarding race on college applications is actually optional.  I know filling out college applications can take up a lot of time, so save a few seconds in the process and skip supplying information on race.  Furthermore, the use of race identifiers as a factor for college or university admission is illegal in certain states.  Together we can all stop playing the race game and quit going along with the antiquated census concepts of prior centuries.

Learn more here.


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